Sunday, March 22, 2009

How To Cope With Depression (Paano Makakayanan ang Depresyon)

I cannot deny it, I had been depressed so many times in my life. Hindi ko na nga mabilang kugn ilang beses na. Usually it happens when there are major changes in life like some close relative passed away, being separated from my family for the very first time, or the likes of some friends moving to another province. Really depressing. I searched and tried these things and for somehow, they kind-of took some of my depressions away. I do thank Mr. Jeff Cohen for sharing these with the people who needs this.

1. CRY
I know I cannot cry just like that. i find it had to cry lalo na kung it's about physical aches like toothaches, wounds, cramps. I don't know. I think it's nature's fault why men tend to "not cry" even if they want to. Lalo na kung sobrang sakit, I don't know kung bakit napaka hirap umiyak. But I am talking in general here. If you need to cry, then cry. Umiyak ka hanggang sa di mo na kayang umiyak. Umiyak ka hanggang wala nang luhang lalabas sa mga mata mo, hanggang magang maga na yung mga mata mo. Isa sa paraan ang pag-iyak to cleanse your budy from stress. Stress Buster. Dito mo lang kasi mailalabas ang lahat ng emotions mo na nagpapabigat sa kalooban mo. Lalake ka man o babae, don't force yourself. Lalo na tayong mga lalake, wag nating pipigilan. Kung kaya niyong umiyak, go ahead and do it. just a tip, sa room niyo lang para walang makakaalam, at least.

2. TALK TO SOMEONE
Kapag mag-isa ka, definitely you will feel depressed most of the time. Lalong lalo na pag wala kang ginagawa. So you need your friend. No man is an island, we all have our friends. Kung wala kang friends, try you classmates (kung estudyante ka), co-workers (kugn nagtatrabaho ka), o kahit sinong pwede mong makausap basta't make sure that the person will talk back at you. Hindi naman pwedeng ikaw lang ang magsasalita.
As I mentioned nung sa pag-iyak, talking to someone is another way of cleansing your system from stress, lalo na yung depression. It's like you are washing it all out of your body and your system tends to process it like it's sending all those hard and heavy emotions to the one you are talking to pero in reality, hindi niya naman nakukuha or na-a-absorb. That's the good side of it.
Making yourself aware that someone is ready to listen to you is one way of comforting your mentality by letting it know na merong nagke-care sayo. Someone has their ears to actually listen to your thoughts and everything that you have to say.

3. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY
Kung depress ka, obviously all your thoughts are being centerred on the fact that you are depressed for whatever reason that it. So to divert your mental process from you depression, try doing anything else aside from thinking about what makes you feel depressed. It really helps. Try mong magbasa ng libro or working out sa gym, your body will thank you for that. A quote from Elle Woods from the movie "Legally Blonde", “Exercise gives you endorphins; endorphins make you happy; happy people don’t kill other people.”

4. REKINDLE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH "HIM"
I know some of you, including myself, would think of this as a cliche. It always works. If you have faith in God and you believe in Him since the day you realized that you have a life, then go to Him. Have a connection with Him. It will help you in renewing yourself or cleansing yourself with His great power of love.

5. REALIZE THAT THERE ARE THINGS BEYOND YOUR CONTROL
Hindi ka Diyos at hindi ka si Superman. You cannot control everything and you cannot control what you want or not want to happen. There is one thing that you CAN control, and that is how you react to the things that are happening. Alalahanin mo, mag-iiba at mag-iiba ang mundo at lahat ay posibleng mangyari whether you like it or not. Ano man ang masamang mangyari sayo, you can always get out of it. You can always resolve it. There are always answers. Tao ka. Nagkakamali ka. You are supposed to make mistakes (not on purpose of course) cause you are a human-being.

6. SMILE
The craziest yet the most effective way to shoo away the depression. There is always tomorrow. And teh future always is fill of hope for better things.

39 comments:

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  2. Hindi na malaman ni Gabby kung mas maiinis siya dahil hindi niya nakuha ang number ni Charles o dahil hindi niya namanalayan na oras na para bumalik na sa trabaho. Naiinis siya sa sarili niya na kung posible lang na maibali ang panahon para makausap niyang muli si Charles para makuha lang ang number. "Stupid ka talaga, Gabby, napaka stupida mo... tanga ka..." sermon niya sa kanyang sarili habang tinititigan ang mga numero ng floor habang paakyat ang elevator.

    Tumambad sa kanya ang receptionist sa opisina nang bumukas ang pinto ng elevator, "Gab... kanina ka pa hinahanap ni Boss Vic." bati sa kanya nito.

    Sa inis na nararamdaman niya ay halos gusto na niyang ibalin sa receptionist. Kung pupwede lang ibalin sa lahat ng tao, lalong lalo na sa kanyang boss. Pumasok sa loob ng opisina si Gab at didiretso na sana sa kanyang pwesto nang tinawag siya ni Sara. Isa sa kasamahan niya sa trabaho.

    "Well, masama ang timpla ng bossing natin ah. Tinanong pa nga sa akin kung half day ka daw ba ngayon dahil hindi siya na inform. San ka ba galing at dalawang oras yata ang lunch break mo?"

    Natigilan si Gabby sa mabilis na paglalakad at lumapit sa kaibigan, "hindi ko na nga namalayan ang oras, Mare." pabulong na sagot ni Gabby.

    "Hindi ka naman siguro na holdap niyan eh tanghaling tapat? At nasa Makati tayo baka nakakalimutan mo,"

    Hindi alam ni Gab kung ano ang igaganting sagot sa ka-opisina. Alam niyang kasalanan niya ang lahat at hindi niya pwedeng ipagtanggol ang sarili niya. Ngunit ganun pa man ang nag-iisip pa rin siya kung ano ang maidadahilan niya sa kanyang amo. Alam niyang iba ito kung magalit at kahit anong dahilan, kung valid man ito o hinde, posible o imposible, tiyak matatalo lang siya at walang mangyayari at lalabas pang kasalanan niya ang lahat. Nguni sa puntong ito, siya na talaga ang mali.

    "O ano, ba't hindi ka makaimik diyan? Mang nangyari bang masama?" bahagya nang nag-aalala ang tinig ni Sara.

    Napatitig lang si Gabby sa kanya. Nag-iisip pa rin kung ano ang pinaka mabisang dahilan ang maari niya sabihin sa amo para lang malusutan ang ginawa nitong kasalanan. Hindi niya alam ngunit kailangan niyang tumitig sa kasama. Hindi niya naman makikita sa kulot na buhok nito kung ano ang maisasagot niya. Wala sa eyeglasses nito o sa mukha nitong puno ng foundation.

    Napa buntung hininga na lamang si Gab at bumwelo... "naaalala mo pa ba yung kinikwento ko sayong barkada ko ng highschool?' simula ulit ng paliwanag ni Gab.

    "O..." ganti ni Sarah na nakatunganga na sa harap ni Gab. Itinigil nito ang ta type sa computer at halatang gustong makinig sa sasabihin ng kausap, "yun bang tumungo sa US?"

    "Yeah..." umaasang maalala o mahulaan ng kausap ang gusto niyang sabihin."

    "OMG!" hindi nga nagkamali si Gab, "nagkita kayo? ngayon?.... at siya ang dahilan kung bakit hindi ka agad nakabalik?"

    Pilit na nangiti si Gab. Nginitng merong konting inis sa sarili na may bahagyang pagsisisi kung bakit sinabi pa niya yun kay Sara. Nasa loob niya na kailangang may makaalam bago siya gumawa ng alibi sa kanyang boss.

    Mag dadagdag pa sana si Sara ng sasabihin kay Gabby ngunit kapwa nilang nadinig na bumukas ang pintuan ng conference room kung saan naroroon ang boss niya. Napalingon sa Gabby sa likuran niya at nakita niyang naroon ang boss niya.

    Hindi makalunok ng laway si gabby, "Boss... Boss Vic..."

    ***********************************************************************************

    "Why did you come by here, anyways, kung hindi ka rin pala magtatagal?" inis na wika sa kanya ni Joseph.

    "As I told you earlier on the phone, mapapadaan lang ako just to get these DVD's. Na-miss ko to no. You know me... once I own things, I need to get them back if someone has it, ok?"

    Bahagyang nagttalo ang dalawa nang sabihin ni Charles na kailangan na niyang umalis after makuha ang hiniram na mga DVD ng kaibigan. Pinaplano na kasi ni Joseph na mag-iunuman silang magkaibigan kasama ng ibang babaeng nakilala nito. May inirereto ito sa kanyang isang babae na assumed niyang magugustuhan ni Charles.

    "Pare, I don't have time for this now. I have some errands na mas importante. I'll make it up next time and I promise, not even my dad could stop,"

    Kasalukuyang nasa condo ni Joseph dumaan si Charles. Ilang minuto muna siyang magse-stay dun hanggang maabutan siya ng oras.

    "Anong oras ba yang meeting mo?" tanong ni Joseph habang nagtitimpla ng kape. inoffer niya ito kay Charles ngunit tumanggi ito.

    "I am just waiting for the call. Tatawag daw siya sa cellphone ko anytime now."

    "Kanina pa yang anytime, it's been more than an hour. It's after lunchtime as in sobrang after na ng lunchtime, mamaya dinner na hindi ka pa rin tinatawagan. Maybe something happened at hindi matutuloy yun sa ngayon. Sumama ka na kasi..."

    Napangiti si Charles, "Well let's see, baka there's just some kind of delay. Those things that one cannot prevent from happening, in the Philippines at least,"

    Nakatambay pa rin dun si Charles habang naghihintay ng iniexpect niyang tawag. Naglalaro na lang siya ng playstation para aliwin ang sarili. Dun na niya naisip na mag hintay dahil malapit lang yun sa lugar na pagmi-meetingan nila ng hinihintay niyang tatawag.

    Finally after ilan pang minuto... nag-ring ang phone ni Charles. Itinigil niya ang paglalaro at sinagot ang phone nang hindi tumatayo mula sa kinauupuan. Nadinig yun ni Joseph at pilit na pakikinggan ang usapan.

    "Hello..." simula ni Charles, "It's fine, not a problem... ... Ok... ... What's that? May I know? ... ... I totally understand... ... Yeah... ... I mean it happens all the time, I know... ... just go easy... ... yeah sure... it's a pleasure... yeah, sure... you too... ... bye..."

    "O ano daw? Dinner meeting?" mas excited pa si Joseph malaman kung anong naging takbo ng usapan...

    "Well..." sabay bulsa ng cellphone at ipinagpatuloy ang paglalaro ng play station, "the meeting was postponed for tomorrow." pangiting sagot ni Charles.

    "Yes, son of a... yeah!!! so tuloy tayo mamaya, shit, sasama ka no matter what... wala kang lusot ngayon... yan na suot mo wag ka na magbihis, and..."

    Konting katahimikan na pinutol ni Charles, "and what?"

    "We are going to use your car...."

    "What?!"

    ***************************************************************************

    May isang babae. Tinatawag ang pangalan ni Charles. Hinahanao niya sa buong paligid kung sino. Madilim. Wala siyang naaninag kundi ang kadiliman. Pinipilit niya ang sariling makita ang pinanggagalingan ng tinig na tumatawag sa pangalan niya. Ngunit wala... ang tunog ng tinig ay tila nasa malapit lang. Parang bumubulong lang sa tenga niya ngunit walang naroroon.

    Nasaan ang babaeng yun? Hindi pwedeng hindi niya makita ang babae. Tumatak agad sa puso nito ang tinig na tumatawag sa kanya, "Charles, halika..." nangingiti siya tuwing nadiding ang tinig... hanggang sa biglang nakita niya ang babae. Nasa harap niya. Napakaganda.

    Napakaganda ng mahabang buhok. Mukha ng anghel... mala-anghel na babae. Nahulog agad ang loob ni charles. Gusto niyang lapitan ito ngunit hindi niya kaya. Pinipilit niya ang sarili ngunit ayaw sundin ang utak niya. Pinipilit niyang lumapit at halos yun na ang pinakamabilis na takbo niya ngunit tila hindi siya makaalis sa kanyang kinatatayuan.

    Itinigil niya na lamang ang pagpupumilit sa sarili ng lumapit sa babae. Tinitigan niya na lang ito... abot tanaw naman niya. Hindi na kailangan pang lumapit dahil sa kanya na mismo lumalapit ang isang napaka-gandang babae. Tumulutang na tila sobrang gaan ang mga buhok nito sa ere.

    Nangiti si Charles. Patuloy pa ring binabanggit nig babae ang pangalan nito. Iniunat nito ang mga makikinis na mga kamay at hinaplos ang mukha ni XCharles. "Charles... Charles... gumising ka na, Charles... gumising ka na..."

    Nagising si Charles. Panaginip lang ang lahat, inuuga siya ni Joseph, "Langya ka , Pare... ilang bses ka na bang nalasing? Ang hirap mong gisingin."

    Pilit na iminumulat ni Charles ang kanyang mga mata ngunit gusto pa rin nitong pumikit. Gustong balikan ang babaeng tumatawag sa kanya, "Pambihira ka, tsong... ang sarap ng panaginip ko pinutol mo eh."

    "Ikaw tong pambihira, you;re phone was ringing. Kanina pa yan at kanina pa kita ginigising."

    Nahimasmasan si Charles at napabangon nang bigla. Dun niya namanalayang may hangover pa siya from last night. Napapikit ito at napahawak sa noo nang maramdamang masakit ang ulo nito, "Wait, what time is it?"

    "Pare, it's almost 11:00 in the morning. Welcome to the real world Charles in the Wonderland..." pabirong hirit ng kaibigan, "sa susunod pag sumuka ka dun ka sa banyo..."

    "Wait... 11? Oh shit, I'm late na, Pare..."

    Napa balikwas si Charles mula sa sofang hinihigaan at inisip kung ano ang unang gagawin, "Shit, shit, shit, Pare. I'm late..."

    "Huh? yan ba yung meeting na dapat kahapon lang?"

    "Yeah, I need to borrow some of your clothes, meron ka bang disenteng damit diyan? Shit, man..." kinuha nito ang phone na kanina pa nag ri ring saka pumasok sa kwarto ni Joseph at dun nagbihis. Nasa kusina noon si Joseph at nagtitimpla ng kape.

    *************************************************************************

    "He's way too late, Henry... Are you sure darating pa yun?"

    "Let's be patient. Kasalanan din natin kung ba't na postpone yung meeting that was supposed to be held yesterday." piling-iling pa ang isang executive habang hinihigop ang mainit na kape sa loob ng board room.

    "It's so unprofessional," dagdag pa ng isang miyembro ng board of directors.

    "We really need this. As I said, let's be patient. Sabi niya he's on his way. Baka na trafic lang, this... gentlemen, is essential for this company, dito lang natin maisasalba ang kumpanyang to..."

    Hindi na nakasagot ang iba pang mga kasamahan niya sa loob ng board room. Tahimik na lang silang naghintay.

    Ilang minuto pa ay nasa Board Room na rin ang kanina pa nilang hinihintay, si Charles.

    Medyo nagulat sila because they were not expecting their client to be that young. Si Charles. Halos anak lang nila ang kinakausap nila nagyon para sa isang business partnership proposal.

    "Do you want a cup of coffee, Mr. Del Monte?" alok ng isang executive din ng kumpanya habang ina-analyze ni Charles ang mga papeles na pina pa approve sa kanya ng board.

    "Yeah... sure, thanks.." hindi naman aware si Charles na sumang-ayon siya. Tutok na tutok siya sa mga detalye ng proposal na pine-present sa kanya. Ingat na ingat siya sa pag re review nito dahil malaki ang posibilidad na meron siya hindi mababasa dahil sa hangover niya.

    Bumukas ang pintuan ng Board Room at pumasok ang isang babae, "Here's your coffee, Sir."

    Pamilyar ang boses. Babae sa panaginip niya? Hindi.

    Hindi na naiwasan ni Charles ang tumingala sa babaeng nag-alok sa kanya ng kape. Nagulat siya sa babaeng nakita niya, "Gabby?"

    Sabay nanlaki din ang mga mata ng babae. Si Gabby nga, "Charles? What are you doing here?"

    Hindi nila namalayang nakatingin sa kanila ang lahat ng executives sa Board Room. Nagkatinginan pa rin ang dalawa na tila ilang taon ulit na hindi nagkita. Namalayan yun ni Gabby, tila napahiya siya sa nangyari, "Ah, sorry Sir, excuse me."

    Tumalikod si Gabby at naglakad papalabas ng Board Room. Sinundan ito ng tingin ni Charles at ng iba pa. Matapos isara ni Gabby ang pintuan ay kay Charles naman nabaling ang tingin ng mga tao sa loob ng room. Nakaramdam si Charles ng konting pagkapahiya. He felt like it's a little bit embarrassing. Hindi siya nakaimik.

    "So, you know my secretary?" tanong sa kanya

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  3. Nabigla si Charles nung makita kanina si Gabby. Hindi niya agad nasagot ang tanong sa kanya ng magiging business partner. Nginitian niya na lamang ito, "Yeah... I knew her from somewhere,"

    Tumango lamang ang kausap habang ipinagpatuloy ni Charles and pag re review sa ilang mga papeles.

    HIndi mapakali si Charles nang pauwi na siya. Hindi niya maalis sa isip niya nang makita niya si Gabby kanina nang bigyan siya nito ng coffee. Sinusubukan niya i-recall ang reaction nito nang makita siya. Wala siyang natatandaan umiba sa expression ng mukha niya. It was like a casual approach of a secretary offering a cup of coffee to a boss. Konting smile and a courteous gesture. Nothing else. Walang spark.
    ******************************

    Hindi nakatulog that night si Charles. Hindi pa rin maalis sa isp ang nangyari nung araw na yun. Hindi siya masyadong naging busy that day pero feeling niya ay naging stressful ang araw na to.

    "I don't know it's so exhausting to think of one thing for the entire day. Why do I keep on thinking about what heppened earlier? It's not a big deal. I wasn't expecting her and I was supposed to act professional."

    Hindi na matiis ni Charles ang boredom. Hindi siya inaantok kung kaya't bumangon na lamang siya at nanood ng TV. He did the usual kapag kakabukas pa lang ng TV. Scanning the shows, channel per channel ngunit parang walang makakuha ng kanyang attensyon. Naisip niyang tumutok na lang sa iisang channel at pipilitin ang sariling panoorin kung anuman ang palabas. Isa yun sa paraan niya para madaling maantok.

    Hindi nakatulong ang panonood ng TV. Malalim na ang gabi ngunit hindi pa rin siya dinadalaw ng antok. Hindi naman siya nag-aalala sapagkat wala naman siyang ibang gagawin bukas. Wala siyang balak pumunta ng opisina.

    Kung pagmamasdan ay tila naka-concentrate si Charles sa pinanonood sa TV ngunit blangko ang nasa isip niya. yun bang tipong nakatingin ka sa malayo nang wala namang iniisip. Hanggang sa biglang napalabas ang commercial ng isang movie. Naalala pa niya ito nung nasa states pa siya. Teaser Trailer pa lang dati to at matagal na siyang atat na atat na panoorin sa sine.

    Tila may bumbilyang umilaw sa ulo ni Charles. Naisip niyang manood na lang ng sine dahil kasalukuyan na palang palabas ang movie na yun at naisip niyang yayain si Gabby. Hindi siya nag dlawang isip sapagkat alam na niya kung saan ito nagtatrabaho. Matapos maisip ang ideyang iyon ay mabilis na inantok si Charles, excited para bukas.
    ***************************

    It's almost lunch time nang marating ni Charles ang building sa tapat ng coffee kung san huling nag-usap sila ni Gabby. Naalala pa niya ang mga sandaling tinitignan niyang papasok sa loob ng building si Gabby habang nagmamadali ito. Dun niya naisip na siya ang dahilan kung bakit na delay ang meeting niya with his father's business partners. Nalate ito after lunch kaya hindi natapos agad ang pinapagawang reports na ipe-presenta sa kanya.

    Pumuwesto agad si Charles sa harap ng coffee shop upang dun abangan ang paglabas ni Gabby mula sa building. Nakatayo lang siya dun na tila may inabangang ka eyeball na textmate.

    Ilang minuto na siyang naghihintay dun nganit hindi niya nasilayang lumabas ng gusali si Gabby. Lumagpas na ang alas dose ng tanghali. Hindi na nakatiis pa si Charles sa paghihintay at tumawid na ng kalsada. Tinungo niya ang katapat na building saka pumasok at inakyat ang palapag na kung saan naroroon ang opisina ng kaibigan.

    Pagkabukas ng elevator sa palapag na yun, tumambad sa kanya sa may di kalayuan ang babaeng receptionist. Nilapitan niya agad ito tinanong, "Miss, I'm looking for Ms. Gabby Enriquez."

    "Ah, si Ma'am Gab po. I think nasa pantry po sir. Pwede po kayong pumunta dun." sabay turo sa isang pintuang nakabukas sa likuran sa kabilang side ng building.

    Nilingon ito ni Charles at nagpasalamat sa babae nung makita ang tinuturo nito. Patakbo niyang tinungo ang pinto at sumilip kung masisilayan niya ang hinahanap mula roon. Hindi siya nabigo. Nakita niya dun si Gab na may kasamang isang babae din. Halatang kasama niya sa trabaho at nag-uusap ang dalawa.

    dahan dahan siyang pumasok habang dahan dahang inaayos ang sarili upang lakas loob na maipresenta ang sarili. Nang malapit na siya sa table ay agad siyang nahuli ng tingin ni Gabby. Hindi agad nakapagsalita si Charles.

    "Oh, hi!" hindi nagpahalatang nasurpresa si Gabby na makita si Charles.

    "Hey..." ganting bati ni Charles

    "Anong ginagawa mo dito, here take a seat." sabay akay ng upuan sa lalakeng kausap. Nakatingin lang kay Charles and kasama ni Gabby.

    "Thank you... ahm..." hindi alam ni Charles kung papano sisimulan ang pagyaya niya. Medyo gusto niyang tumayming nang maayos ngunit may kasama pa ito.

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